Can/Should

A perspective of reasonable import in the attainment of the faculties of maturity (a matter of significant import) can be understood from the perspective of can vs. should.

Can I have another scoop of ice-cream?

The subject is I, the object is ice-cream and the action is a request to a higher authority. Based on how you read the question, what your particular circumstances of upbringing is and what mood you are currently in, you may arrive at the same image as I: that a child is asking for additional indulgence from a parent. The power structure present here (commonly portrayed with much more familial flair) is of a dependent who has yet to grapple with the convoluted vagaries of the world, and a more experienced authority figure with seemingly infinite knowledge of right and wrong.

Should I give him another scoop of ice-cream?

Such is a possible thought that will run through the parents mind before deciding to provide or deny the creamy indulgence. The subject and object remained unchanged (although the frame of reference is realigned), but the interesting shift is of the action. Devoid of naive innocence and smattered with uncertainty is the dilemma posed to the parent: what will the long term effect of this indulgence be? Will it be a trivial occurrence in a turbulent childhood having the effect of a stone thrown frivolously into a lake? Or will it be the start of a plunge into gratuitous appetite (and if so, will it eventually dominate their personality or simply be a color amongst a vibrant palette)?

Can is the domain of non-accountability and innocence. It represents the time when our defenses are critically low, and responsibility of our actions are delegated to another.

Should represents the sheer cliff of accountability backed by the raging ocean of wrong; one misstep and we plunge into the mad waters of ethical ineptitude.

When one notices that they stop asking Can's and start asking Should's they should pause: a mental puberty has occurred and one is on the precipice of ethical liability. Stop and stare hard in the direction you are moving in. If one has reached a reasonable age and finds themselves still dogged with Can's, stop: puberty has avoided you and perhaps it is time to immolate your innocence in exchange for your position on the sheer cliff.

Don't worry about Can's, but fret endlessly over Should's.